Several years ago, I had a friend who told me that she felt like she was in a rowboat on a river; and on the right side, her family of origin was pulling her their way with a tow rope. On the left side, her husband was pulling her his way. She said that she felt no control at all over her life because each had their idea of what she should be doing, and they didn’t ever agree.
It was very coincidental for me because I had been reading a book titled, “First You Have to Row a Little Boat”, by Richard Bode.[i] It was a fascinating book that used boating and navigating the waters of life as a metaphor for how our lives have ups and downs like the waves, requiring each of us to be responsible for our own boat and the direction we are going. I couldn’t help but realize how this related to my friend’s own description of her life. I gave her a copy of the book.
She and I had several conversations, and I remember when she had made a great deal of progress toward her own goals and taking responsibility for her life, she said, “You know, I was successful at cutting both ropes that were controlling my life and tugging me right along, but what I had forgotten was to bring along a paddle!”. So, she described the feeling of drifting freely and fearfully about until she learned to create her own paddles and set herself free and took full responsibility for her life and happiness.
This has stuck with me all these years and I realized it was a great lesson that many must learn. We wake up and realize we’re not happy, we look around to see who or what is in control, we lovingly release and let go and move forward being completely empowered to make our own decisions. Does this mean we won’t have challenges regarding those family members and perhaps even decisions about their care in the future? No, but we go forward lovingly, with wisdom and foresight instead of guilt, worry and blame.
Does this mean we leave our partner behind? No, not necessarily. It just depends on whether the partner or family members can live with the new empowered version of you. Once you become aware of your own inner strength, you cannot turn back. Allow your inner voice to become stronger and row your own boat to gratitude, love, joy, peace, and prosperity.
[i] https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/31Ldtwdn+OL._SX302_BO1,204,203,200_.Y