I wrote this a few years ago but it is still the way I feel about my mother.
There are so many memories of my mother’s love, generosity, devotion, courage and compassion that it is a bit of a challenge to decide which of her wonderful super-human qualities to talk about, but I decided to talk about the purse(s) she carried and that would pretty well describe her life. That purse contained so much that it almost took on magical proportions. One grandchild said, “Grandma, when you die, would you leave me your purse?”
Now, you must understand the type of person that Clara Walker was. She was from Simpson County, Mississippi but after the family moved to Oak Ridge, Tennessee for my dad’s job, she loved it, she loved the life there and said she didn’t ever want to live anyplace else. You see, families like ours were there for the birth of a new city, referred to as the Atomic City, Oak Ridge. She was loyal to University of Tennessee football and always rooted for them while my dad rooted for Ole Miss. She cooked all her meals, and they were good ones. If an out-of-town relative showed up at any time of day or night, she got up and cooked for them with no complaints.
Mother stayed home. She didn’t visit much with neighbors although she knew them and would help in any way she could if they needed it. She often fed hungry neighborhood children. Clara was beautiful, dark wavy hair and expressive hazel eyes. Her beauty extended way beyond that though. She expressed love in every way, every breakfast she cooked, and every load of clothes and dishes she washed. You never felt unloved. In the summer, the local grandchildren wanted to go to Grandma’s house. One grandson said that “going to Grandma’s was better than going on a cruise ship.” She made all her food to order. If one said he didn’t want pancakes, she’d prepare whatever he/she wanted for breakfast.
Let me stop that though. I could go on forever and this is supposed to be about her purse. She chose her purses carefully. Never expensive, they were not cheap either. Her criteria consisted of this: large in volume, good heavy handles and plenty of room for lipstick, pens, paper, photo albums, etc. Well, if you could see what she carried in that purse, you’d be amazed. Now, my mom was only about 5’2” so we’re not talking about a big person but don’t let that make you think she wasn’t strong. She was perhaps the strongest woman I ever knew. She could weather any storm and come out on the other side.
When a great-grandchild was facing a dilemma because of issues at home and wanted to live with her, she told the psychologist and everyone in the room during a family meeting that she would keep him and make certain he behaved and finished school. When asked about her age of eighty, and how long she could realistically continue caring for him, she said, “I can do it as long as it takes.” And she did. She carried all his important papers in that purse for him. He went on to graduate from high school, spent several years in military service and is living a very productive life. He is just one example of the ways she shared her love.
Anyway, you’re beginning to get the picture by now that what I’m really talking about today is my mother’s heart. Her heart expanded to any proportions necessary and encompassed all of us. Her purse only contained symbols of that. She needed a purse that would hold enough of her memories because she had photos of all her relatives, children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. She needed a purse that was large enough to hold her coin purse because of her compassion and generosity, she always carried quarters and dollar bills to give to those in need. She always folded her money and stuck it in that little coin purse.
Oh Mother, how I miss you! How grateful I am though for the example you gave me about how to love. Love includes more than just saying “I Love You” although that counts, and you shared plenty of that too. You lived LOVE with every ounce of your being. I think I’ll start carrying a big purse too!