There is a lovely song titled, Fix You[i]. While the lyrics are sentimental and loving, tender and emotive, the truth of the matter is that we cannot fix another. No matter how much we want to, how much we love them and see the truth of them, until they see their inherent value and worth, we are not getting anywhere.
The actual lyrics within the song say, “I will try to fix you.” What a beautiful love that is. I think we’ve all been there at some time in our lives when someone is hurting, and we want so badly to fix it for them, but we can’t. Perhaps it’s a loved one who we have seen go down the path of addiction, hanging onto abusive relationships, or other ways of bringing on their own unhappiness. We’ve stood by lovingly and encouraged and even begged them to seek help, to heal. We finally admit, “I can’t fix you, but I can love you.”
The other thing at play here is that we cannot possibly know how they feel. It is also not our place to judge anyone so the best thing we can do is to pray, sometimes from afar, sometimes close. We pray for healing for our loved one and send loving energy right from our own heart to theirs, that they may wake up to the beauty within them. We also pray for ourselves to know what to do, what to offer or suggest and then to be at peace knowing we’ve done our best.
So, no, we can’t fix anyone, but we know that our love makes a difference. We therefore ask for guidance to know how to offer support.